The First Dance - Wedding Songs

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The first dance.
Whether you are planning an intimate sweep across the dance floor or a choreographed performance that would put Beyonce to shame, there is no denying the significance of a couple’s ‘first dance’ as man and wife.

I have been singing at wedding parties for over 25 years and one thing that strikes me is the importance that couples place on their first dance. Lets face it, the first dance will be remembered for the rest of their lives. Fast-forward 30 years down the road, and every time they hear 'that song', it will transport them back to a magical moment during a very magical day - That's the idea anyway!

A quick search of the internet will reveal a number of web sites dedicated to 'First dance choreography classes' and 'Favourite first dance songs' and there are a number of quite famous first dance videos on YouTube. One of the most famous UK based wedding dance videos was filmed at Fonmon Castle, near Cardiff Wales Airport - a venue that I perform at regularly. It shows Julia and James performing a routine from the film 'Dirty Dancing' and has (at the time of writing) received over 9 million hits; which in return has led to the couple appearing on a number of TV shows - but you don't have to go that far!

A quick history lesson.
The tradition of the first dance seems to be modern European and American one. I made a quick survey of previous clients and asked them to ask their parents if they'd had a first dance and it turns out that very few of them did. Those that did, performed a quick waltz around the room echoing the origins of the first dance  which was usually performed at old-fashioned balls by the guests of honour and signified the commencement of dancing for the evening, and was certainly not a choreographed or surprise routine!  In the past most people attending a ball would have been taught how to dance as a matter of etiquette - a skill few of us have these days. Therefore the modern wedding first dance seems to be an additional confirmation of the couples love, and unless the couple have some ball-room dancing skills or they have put a routine together, then it is generally an intimate 'shuffle' around the dance floor.

Nowadays, the trend seems to be that more and more people are opting to have a first dance and they are placing more importance on it. 25 years ago when I first started performing at weddings not many people would bother with a first dance. I offer a bespoke service where I will work with the couple to make sure they get exactly what they need for their all important first dance.


Choosing the right song for the first dance.
As couple, it's worth spending some time choosing a song that means something to both of you. If you are intending to have a first dance (and not everybody does), then make sure that whoever is performing or playing the song has at least a few weeks notice so that they can ensure they have the correct version of the song prepared. I once managed to play the wrong song for a couple. Instead of playing 'Can't take my eyes off you' by Andy Williams which has the opening line: "You're just too good to be true..." I played 'Can't help falling in love' by Elvis. The opening lines to this song are "Wise men say, only fools rush in...". I will never forget the look of horror on both the bride and grooms faces; and I will never make that mistake again - and hopefully neither will you.


Performing the perfect first dance.
If you are going to choreograph a dance, make sure the band, singer or DJ has exactly the same version that you have. In fact it is always workwhile sending a copy of the song in advance so it can be downloaded on to the music system that the DJ or band is using. I had one occasion where the bride and groom turned up with copied CD that just refused to play in my CD player and they had to make do with another song.

It seems that most women are quite comfortable on the dance floor, but the poor old groom is often left weak kneed at the prospect of having to 'perform' in front of his friends and family. On the anxiety / nervousness scale, the first dance comes in at third place behind the wedding ceremony and the speech. Therefore I always do my utmost to put the couple at ease, so preparation is the key. The last thing I want to do is to make a mistake whilst singing the song, or for there to be any kind of  technical hitch.

After years of performing at weddings I've found the best time for the couple to have their first dance is after the buffet (if they are having one). This gives evening guests chance to mingle with the day guests and lets everyone 'relax' until it's time to start dancing! 5 minutes before the first dance I make an announcement to all the guests to make sure they have their cameras ready and to gather around the dance floor. This works as both a heads up for anyone who might be thinking of sneaking off for a cigarette, and it gives the bride and groom chance to get near the dance floor.

In recent years the trend has been for couples to dance to a choreographed dance routine. So I often have to supply them with a pre-recorded version of me singing the song for them to dance to. This ensures that the version I am going to sing has all the same timings as the version they are rehearsing with. As I mentioned, there are a number of web sites advertising wedding choreography and it's become quite a lucrative business. However, in nearly all cases the couples who have opted for a choreographed dance seem more stressed about the dance than about any other part of the day. In one case the couple abandoned their set piece just before they were about to do it and opted to shuffle around the dance-floor in each others arms - which was just as endearing!

Starting the live music or disco right after the first dance is a great way of re-booting the party. Everyone is concentrated around the dance floor and in many cases the bride and groom ask people to join them halfway though their first dance so it's a great ice breaker to get people boogieing the night away.


Tips for a great first dance.
To achieve a romantic and well-executed first dance, I recommend following....

1. Prepare: In order to make your first dance a memorable one (and not for the wrong reasons) make sure that your singer or DJ is well briefed on the song you have selected and the mood you want to create, whether this be light hearted, serious or even funny. This will give whoever is performing the song the chance to thoroughly prepare and make sure the music is seamless. I work closely with couples to make sure they get exactly what they want out of their first dance.
2. Pick a song that’s right for you both: I find that the song choices work best when they reflect the couple’s personalities and resonate with their relationship. Perhaps certain lyrics really stand out or a song takes you back to a special shared memory. However, you must bear in mind you ultimately have to dance to the song - so there’s no point in choosing an up-tempo number if your partner has two left feet!
3. Forget cool go with what YOU love: Don’t be afraid to choose something that’s cheesy, tacky or a little risqué! The day is all about you, not about what other people are going to think because you’ve chosen a Westlife number, or because you've shocked aunty Maureen with your intimate slow dance to an Rnb track.
4. Dance lessons: In general, women are more comfortable dancers than men. So if you're that bothered about messing up your big moment, take a few dance lessons together. Not only will this help to put you both at ease but it will also guarantee quality 'couple-time' in the busy run up to the wedding. 
5. Timing: This may seem trivial but timing is key. After years of performing at weddings I've found the best time for the couple to have their first dance is after the buffet (if they’re having one). This gives evening guests a chance to mingle with the day guests and lets everyone 'relax' until it's time to start  dancing. Also if you aren’t comfortable with performing in front of your guests throughout the entire song then tell your wedding performer in advance to encourage guests to join you half way through. I have performed at many weddings where the bride and groom have opted to do this and it helps set the couple at ease and involve the wedding party.

A list of first dance wedding songs.
From the timeless classics to the contemporary chart songs I've compiled a list of the most requested first dance tracks I have performed at weddings over the last 25 years...

The top 5: Timeless classics

1. Let there be love - Nat king Cole
2. Stand by me - Ben E King
3. Don't want to miss a thing - Aerosmith
4. Three times a lady – The Commodores
5. Let's stay together - Al Green (I was actually singing this song at a gig when Al Green walked in!)

The top 5: Current tracks

1. The greatest day – Take That
2. I’ve got a feeling – Black Eyes Peas
3. To make you feel my love – Adele
4. Don’t stop believing - Journey
5. Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

The Top 5: Wild Cards

1. Burning love – Elvis
2. Gimme some loving – The Blues Brothers
3. Ain’t Nobody – Chaka Khan
4. Tiny Dancer – Elton John
5. Me and Mrs Jones – Billy Paul

Putting a show together and giving great performances every time.

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This blog applies to solo singers, duos, bands... In fact any type of live musical performance.


Your audience knows what it wants.


Simple really but this fact is overlooked by so many acts and singers. If you want to be a successful artist singing cover songs, there is no point in picking all your favourite songs and going out and performing them thinking everyone has the same taste in music as you. For me it was a difficult and frustrating hill to climb when I first started working as a solo singer. I thought everyone would love the songs that I loved - but I was very wrong. Different people like different music - and nine times out of ten you will be performing to people who want to be entertained. They want to sit back and be impressed by someone singing songs they know. They want to dance and sing along to familiar songs, and they can't do that with obscure tracks that they've never heard before. So before you start putting a show together, you can forget all of those amazing album tracks that you love. Stick to mainstream well-known songs and you won't go wrong.

Know your onions!

Every gig that you perform will be different. You will have a mixed demographic of people at every one; different age-groups, social backgrounds, levels of education, ethnic and regional up-bringing etc. All of these factors contribute to how you should think about your audience. There is no point turning up to a gig expecting to play exactly the same set list as the previous gig and getting the same reaction from the audience! Before you start your performance take time to look around the room. If you get chance, speak to the event organiser and double check what type of music they are expecting. Talk with the punters in the room and ask what they like. Get a feel of the room before you sing one single note. That way you can think ahead as to what type of music might go down well at this particular gig. Judge the room and act accordingly. If necessary, change your set as you go along. Be prepared to do this at almost every gig. If you can be flexible and read the audience reactions carefully, you should be able to blow any audience away by constantly tweaking your set as the evening goes on.

I've seen many singers walk out onto a stage and perform a 'technically' great gig - but they let themselves down by not taking any notice of how the audience is reacting to the songs. Even major name artists will rarely go out and perform songs that no one knows - and if you have ever been unlucky enough to go to a gig where the dreaded words are spoken:- 'We're about to play a few songs from our forthcoming album...' you will have heard the inward sigh that rises from the audience who are about to be subjected to a load of songs they don't know...

Your show can depend on the type of booking you are performing at.

The show that you give will depend largely on the type of booking and the venue you are performing in.
Gigs can be roughly split into four main categories:

Pub gigs - Generally the most relaxed gig of all. They are a great place to interact with your audience since you will probably be performing almost in the punters faces. Obviously you should always give your best at every gig, but pubs are a great place to hone your skills, try out new material and tweak your show. People will expect you to play some current chart material along with some great classics at pub gigs. You can also rock out a little more than you would at say a wedding or corporate gig - so let your hair down a little.

Social Club Gigs - A bit of a step up from pub gigs in the performance stakes. Quite often a lot is expected of the act in the UK. (see me previous blog 'So you want to gig for a living?') Turn up nice an early. Gear set by 7.30pm. You are expected to be smartly dressed in 'stage attire'. First set - Generally ballads followed by bloody bingo, followed by a second set to dance to... You may detect a small amount of animosity in my writing here. I worked clubs for many years and have been watching them slowly decline due to attitudes that are stuck in the past so I don't really have much love to lose over this type of work. However, Club Gigs are a great place to learn your trade. The money isn't great, but it you can keep a social club audience happy you are doing well. You will be expected to mainly play classic tracks, ballads and songs from the 1960's, 1970's and 1980's - if you manage to get anything more modern in then it's probably a re-release or a recent cover of any old classic. Club land loves the likes of Neil Diamond, Celine Dion, Elvis, Shania Twain etc.

Corporate & Hotel gigs - Along with weddings, these are the most lucrative gigs of all but they are also the gigs where you need to be very careful about what you perform and how you present yourself.  You will generally be expected to perform songs that people can dance to, but not necessarily rock out to. Swing, Jazz, rat pack etc. Classics from Sinatra, Jamie Cullum, Michael Buble etc. mixed up with some big ballads and a few sing along s from Neil Diamond and Billy Joel etc.

Wedding / Private parties - Dancing, dancing and more dancing. Basically if you are a guest at a wedding or a private party you don't want to be watching some boring old fart sing songs about old Ireland and lamenting about 'Old Shep'. The punters are there to P.A.R.T.Y. and as an entertainer it's your job to get the whole audience on the dance floor bopping their socks off. You want everyone leaving the party knackered and sweaty but with a great memory of a great night. So, don't hold back. Be prepared to throw every single classic dance floor tune you can at the audience. Think 'Come on Eileen', 'Love Shack', Burning love', Blues Brothers, Commitments, Soul, Dance, Jive, Rock and roll... Need I go on? Cheese is often the order of the day at parties like this. People aren't there to be impressed by a cool singer - they are there to enjoy themselves and have a party and it's your job to do that by making sure your perform the right songs which will allow them to do just that!

So what songs should I perform?

I tried to resist temptation and NOT put a set list of songs that I know works well at almost any gig. However, I've decided that giving you a few set lists will point you in the right direction to help you build your own. Some of my typical set-lists might contain the following songs:-
(Oh, and before anyone starts nit-picking - The examples I give here are versions performed by the singers named - I'm well aware that they may not have penned or performed the original version!)

Pub Set List:
Let me entertain you - Robbie Williams
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
It's not unusual - Tom Jones
Grace Kelly - Mika
Sex on fire - Kings of Leon
Uptown girl - Billy Joel
Shine - Take That
A little respect - Erasure
She said - Plan B
Bat out of hell - Meatloaf
She caught the Katie - The blues brothers
Mustang Sally - The commitments
Life on Mars - David Bowie

Corporate Set List:
Come fly with me - Frank Sinatra
Haven't met you yet - Michael Buble
New York New York - Frank Sinatra
20 something - Jamie Cullum
Mister Bojangles - Sammy Davis Jr
The Way you look tonight - Harry Connick Jr
It had to be you - Harry Connick Jr
Quando quando - Michael Buble
The girl from Ipanema - Frank Sinatra
Strangers in the night - Frank Sinatra
I've got you under my skin - Michael Buble
Ain't that a kick in the head - Robbie Williams
Beyond the Sea - Robbie Williams

Wedding/party set:
Let's stay together - Al green
My first my last my everything - Barry white
Shake your tail feather - The Blues Brothers
It's not unusual - Tom Jones
The greatest day -- Take That
Pretty woman - Roy Orbison
Can't take my eyes off you - Andy Williams
Twist and shout - The Beatles
Lets twist again - Chubby Checker
500 miles - The Proclaimers
Local boy in the photograph - The Stereophonics
Johnny B Goode - Chuck Berry
Sweet Caroline - Neal Diamond
I believe in a thing called love - The darkness
I bet you look good on the dance-floor - Arctic monkeys

You can see that I've included three very different sets here. Each one is designed to reflect the different type of audience that you would have at each venue. However don't be fooled into thinking that you can build a pub set that will work at every pub, or that every corporate event will want swing music! It's a good idea to have these kind of set lists prepared in advance BUT you must always be ready to tweak these sets at a moments notice. Many corporate events start out gently by the end of the evening the audience is generally very drunk and in the mood to dance like a bunch of lunatics to almost anything you can throw at them. And as I mentioned before weddings, love them or hate them, need lots of cheese and lots of up-tempo music and lots of enthusiasm.

Stagecraft & Performance

So you've put an amazing set of songs together, and spend months rehearsing so that you can perform every song to the best of your ability. You've spend time rehearsing with your equipment so you can easily adjust your sound levels to any size or venue without deafening people. you have put on your posh stage clothes and now you are ready to rock.

As the lights are dimmed you walk out onto the stage and you stare at the audience... and you freeze. You haven't quite imagined it to be like this. The audience is looking at you with hungry eyes. There is an air of anticipation in the room that frightens you. You know that you have to perform to the best of your ability or they are going to start throwing things at you. Nasty things. Bottles, cans, sausage rolls, anything they can get their hands on. Time slows down and your legs feel as though they are about to start shaking uncontrollably and your tongue feels like a giant marshmallow which is now stuck to the roof of your mouth. You look like a rabbit stuck in the headlights and by this point, no matter how well you sing, you've just blown the entire gig.

What you just read is a scenario that with a little mental preparation will never happen to you. Once you have completed all of your rehearsals, you need to make sure that you can walk out onto any stage and feel comfortable with your audience right from the kick-off. You must be as prepared as possible in every aspect of performing before you even think about stepping up on stage!

Take a moment to think about every successful performer that you have ever seen. The likes of Elton John, Bruce Springsteen, Bono, Take That, Plan B and Adele... They don't have some inbuilt magical ability to walk out onto the stage and start being great entertainers. Any successful performer spends months behind the scenes rehearsing, learning their craft, learning their songs and feeling comfortable with a live performance. A person sitting in an audience watching a singer is only seeing very tip of the iceberg. A performer who walks out on stage, moves well, presents themselves well and gives a good show, is somebody who has spent months rehearsing and visualising giving a good performance in front of any kind of audience, and under any kind of pressure, and in any situation. But there is no  substitute for experience. So in addition to all of your practical rehearsals you should spend time visualising your gigs. You can even do this whilst you're on your way to a gig. Imagine yourself giving a fantastic performance - visualise yourself on stage giving it your all, and by the time you walk out on stage you will already have prepared yourself to give that great performance.

There is no harm in working out some patter to help get the audience on your side when you first walk out on stage. They are expecting YOU to be the performer and not them. Therefore you need to look as comfortable as possible the minute you walk out on stage and that includes being able to talk to your audience in a friendly manner that will make them warm to you from the offset. A word of warning here, never ever berate your audience in anyway. If they are not being the wonderfully responsive audience that you would like them to be, don't be tempted to slag them off. By doing so you will immediately alienate yourself from every single person in the room. If an audience isn't being responsive, smile sweetly and sing your best songs - they will come around eventually.

A good way to kick off show is by choosing a massive number for your first song. Depending on the type of booking you have will depend on whether you perform a ballad or a flat rock or pop song. Make sure you perform a song that everybody knows and introduce it by saying something like, "Hello my name is ... I'm here to entertain you and that is exactly what I'm going to do!". Then crack on with your first big number.
When I perform I like to leave as short a gap as possible between songs. I find pauses between songs can make your performance scrappy, and I hate those awkward silences where the audience just sits and stares at you whilst you fiddle with your backing tracks to get the next song ready. Make sure you have your playlist prepared at the beginning of the gig - you can always adjust it on the fly throughout the evening. If you do have to talk between songs, or introduce songs, make sure that you know what you're talking about. There's nothing worse than listening to a singer tell you that Robbie Williams wrote 'Mr Bojangles'. Get your facts right about your music! (By the way Mr. Bojangles was written by Gerry Jeff Walker). Also make sure that if you are going to talk about the song you don't just say; "This is one of my favourites.". Explain why it's one of your favourites and maybe a little bit about the song; who it was written by and artists that have covered the song etc. But don't go into too much detail or you will be in danger of boring your audience. They want to hear you sing, not a musical history lecture.

It's important to strike up a rapport with your audience, but don't feel that you have to stand there and tell jokes in between songs unless you are very comfortable with this. Don't be tempted to start telling a joke on the fly and then realise you've forgotten the joke whilst you're halfway through telling it, and try to avoid any rude, crude, racist or risque jokes that might backfire on you.

I was once a singing in a bar in Cardiff when there was a road accident right outside the window of the bar. I was half way though singing Nessun Dorma, when a young man ran out in front of a car and was knocked over. I looked out of the window and saw him lying in the road. I continued singing and when I reached the end of the song I could see that the young man wasn't too badly injured. So I made a comment to the audience that the man lying in the street outside must have thought his time had come because all he would have heard after the screech of tyres would have been the sound of me singing opera and therefore he must have thought he was approaching the pearly gates! Unfortunately what I didn't realise was that most of the people in the bar knew the young man as he was a regular customer. The landlady literally dragged me out to a back room of the bar, screamed at me for five minutes, told me I was insensitive, and asked me to leave the building - which I did with my tail between my legs. I've never made a daft comment on stage since!

Stagecraft is something that you can learn over time, however as I've already mentioned once or twice, preparation is the key to a good performance. Spend as much time as possible choosing and learning your songs, being comfortable using your equipment, and visualising giving great performances. Do all of this and you won't be giving good performances, you'll be giving amazing performances that will ensure repeat bookings!

Rock on.

Be careful of what you wish for!

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Well, June 2011 has turned out to be one of the maddest months of my life (musically). Be careful what you wish for! I've been wishing for more and better paid gigs... 


Firstly, a disclaimer. I am writing this at 5.00am. I am tired, so damn tired but the kids will be up soon so there's no point in going to bed yet. Please excuse all spelling and grammar errors. 
'To err is human'.


Friday 3rd June was my usual Friday night gig at the five star St David's hotel in Cardiff. For once this was quite a normal gig. A nice gentle evening singing my little heart out in a great venue. I kick off at 7pm at SD so I have to leave home at around 5pm to get in and set up so I'm ready to start singing by 7pm - but it's worth it. You never know who's going to walk through the door - but more of that later.


On Saturday the 4th of June I performed at the party for the Saab Wales Open golf championship at the Celtic Manor Resort near Newport. I'm pretty used to playing at the CM now (I sang at the Ryder Cup 2010 wrap party) but this time I was humbled by the words of billionaire business-man Sir Terry Mathews (the guy who built and owns the resort). Just before I started my performance Sir Terry came rushing over saying something like; "I can't believe your're here! I'm so frickkin glad you're here to entertain us all this evening. You were amazing at the Ryder Cup." He then grabbed the microphone and told the audience that they were in for a treat, "Aubrey Parsons is dynamite..." he continued. To be honest I was totally taken aback and really pleased to think that a billionaire is one of my fans!


I wanna be a billionaire, so frickkin' bad.

Working at venues like the CM means that you have to arrive nice and early to get gear set up and out of the way before guests arrive. You don't want to be fighting your way through loads of people in a bar or function room. So for those of you who think that us singers just hop up on stage and sing and then bugger off - think again. My day started at around 7am when my internal clock woke me up (damn) and I started to prep songs and equipment for the night. I then set off at 3pm to get to the CM at 4pm to get gear set by 6pm. The performance didn't start until 10m and finished at around 1.30pm. Then the whole process is done in reverse. I think I got home at around 4am.


Sunday 5th June found me singing at a 65th birthday party at an exclusive venue near Cardiff. The client was someone I had worked for before and he had hired a restaurant for the evening. Again I needed to arrive early and leave late. However it was a nice gentle night with no problems or surprises.


I then had the luxury of a few days off before the avalanche happened.


On Friday 10th June I had a last minute call to do some 'extra' work on the Welsh language TV show 'Pobl Y Cwm' ('People of the valley'). Usually when I work on 'Pobl' filming only takes a few hours. However this time I had a 'walk on' part as a hotel manager. This means you have to interact and speak with the main actors so I had to start filming at 9am and I didn't finish until 5.30pm. Luckily we were filming in Cardiff and it was just a 20 minute drive from the BBC to my usual Friday night gig at St David's. However, I had to do the gig in my hotel manager clothes - amazingly - no one noticed. Now what does that say for my dress sense and style?
During that evening, after a discussion with the management team at St David's it was agreed that I would return later in the week to perform for a certain band that was staying at the hotel...


Saturday 10th June was a wedding in Cowbridge. I love performing at weddings but it doesn't half take it out of me. Unlike many performers I more often than not DJ for the first half of the evening and then do a 2 hour straight flat-out live set and then finish by DJ'ing until the end of the night (which is usually midnight) and again the gear doesn't set it'self up or pack it'self away...


So to Tuesday 11th June 2011. Take That were performing the first of 2 nights in Cardiff on their Progress tour. I had been asked to perform at St David's hotel (where the band were staying) before the Take That gig and then later in the evening after the band had returned to the hotel after their gig. My first set started at 6pm and I eventually left the building at around 2am. In between was what can only be described as a circus. (see what I did there TT fans.)


The hotel had taken on extra security in addition to the bands own general and personal security (each member had their own 'minder'). Outside the hotel dozens of mainly women and gay men had been hanging around all day along with a gaggle of 'Paps'. No one was allowed into the hotel unless they could show a room key or confirmation that they were attending another function that was being held for the steel giant and Landrover owner 'Tata'. So that night the hotel had the 4th richest man in the world having an event along with the biggest band in UK - all under one roof. You would have had more luck getting backstage to U2 at Glastonbury. Inside the hotel was full of rather merry middle aged women who had all seem to have had the foresight to book rooms in St David's on the off chance that Take That would be staying there. Well done ladies!


One regular customer of the bar (who is very tall, very fit, very well built, very rich and very not about to put up with hassle from anyone) attempted to gain access to the hotel for a drink. He was stopped by security who told him that if he didn't have a key card, he couldn't enter. His reply was as follows; 


"Listen hear butty, I drink at the bar in this hotel every night of the week. If Robbie Williams comes here for a night and thinks he can stop me drinking in my regular drinking hole he can f**k off!"


The security guard relented and opened the door for him.


Once the band's show was over they returned to the hotel but they were sneaked past the crowd of fans via the tradesman's (?!?) entrance and through the kitchens to the rear of the restaurant where they were entertained by me and their cohorts of management, crew and security. At this point I'd like to say that what goes on tour stays on tour. Mind you Robbie was gobbing off about what a great performer he was so I told him to 'button it' and showed him how it should be done (or was that a dream I once had). As  soon as the band returned I was handed a piece of paper by the band's management which read 'No songs by the band!'. You will be pleased to know that I often perform songs by Take That because they have some great songs. Nearly all the customers in the bar had been to the concert and they kept asking me to sing TT songs. So you will be even more pleased to know that no snotty little so-and-so from any management company is going to stop me singing what I want to sing - and that night was no exception!


...and the world came alive. 


I guess I didn't upset them too much because the following morning I had a txt message asking if I could do it all over again for the Wednesday night. Oh boy was I tired and the thought of doing it all again was quite daunting. By the time I had arrived and set my gear up at the hotel that afternoon I knew I was going to struggle. Especially since I knew that TT had two days off and would probably want to party a little later that night. Luckily I managed to negotiate a room with the hotel which meant I didn't have far to go at the end of the night.


Have you ever wondered which member of TT is the 'odd one out'?
I haven't, but I did think it was strange that Jason Orange didn't leave the bar until 5.45am the following morning after spending a huge part of the evening talking about George Michael. This I hasten to add came to me via a third party because I had crashed and burned by 4am.


Friday 17th June. I arrived back at SD for gig number 3 that week to find that Simon Cowell's production company were staying at the hotel whilst they were filming 'Red or Black' (his new show). It seems that wherever SC is, Ant & Dec are usually pretty close behind and sure enough, there they were. Dec opted for an early night whilst Ant and the crew stuck out my set like the troopers that they are. I must have counted at least twenty people who walked up to Ant and asked for photo's or autographs and he didn't say 'no' once. He smiled his way though every encounter and was courteous to everyone he spoke to - including me. They are regular visitors to SD and it wouldn't surprise me to see them there in the future. After my performance Ant (the one with the massive forehead who always stands on the left in case you are wondering) came up and said; "Aubrey, cheers pal, that was great entertainment." I couldn't think of anything witty to say so I just smiled and said "Thanks PJ... or is it Duncan?".


I'm going to skip a few days now. I did a few private functions and tried to get some rest but the phone doesn't seem to stop ringing (in a good way) at the moment so a rest is out of the question. I also have a fantastic wife and two daughters who have to get up for school every morning so there is very rarely a chance of a lie in!

Aubrey singing at the Raddison Blu Party

Thursday 23rd of June. I performed at an anniversary party for the Radisson BLU hotel in Cardiff. It was another long day. Get to the venue early, sound-check, hang around, perform etc. Eventful none the less. Before I sang, a flash mob choir surprised the guests by bursting into song wilst milling around them (the guests thought the choir were other guests and hotel staff). They then moved to the stage and performed a few numbers. It was all quite exciting. They were followed by 'Jukebox Juniors' a young street dance gang who had appeared on SKY TV's equivalent of BGT. They were quite frankly mindblowingly good and I had to go on after them - no pressure then. I did manage to get up and sing without anyone blocking their ears or walking out so I can't have been that bad. The whole evening had a blue theme and there were even a few blue men walking around....

Smurf genetic mutation.

After my performance I was stood talking with a few of the guys from FreshBaked PR who are the company who had booked me to perform at the event. As we were talking one the guy's attention was grabbed by some people who had just entered the room. His jaw nearly hit the floor and I turned to see five or six rather beautiful and stylish young women stood on the other side of the room. 

"Who the heck are they?" asked one of the guys.

"I dunno but I'm going wherever they are going after this party is over!" replied the other. (Both will remain nameless thanks to a super-injunction.)

At that moment, one of the ladies saw me and gracefully walked across the room and came up to me, gave me a big 'air kiss' and said; "Hey Aubrey, great to see you, how's your voice? It's been a while..." We chatted for a minute or so and then she returned to her friends. There was a stunned and slightly confused silence which was broken by one of the guys...

"That was Miss Wales, Courtney Hamilton - how the hell does she know you?" 

"Oh you know, you get to meet 'people' when you do my job." I replied with an air of mystery, and left it at that. They eyed me with a slightly confused, envious, "you lucky sod" kind of look.

Courtney Hamilton

I didn't tell them that I'd met Courtney when she used to work behind the bar at Bar 44 in Cowbridge where I sometimes perform. All the facts can spoil a moment - don't you think?

After the Radisson party I headed over the O'Neil's in Cardiff where another one of the PR guys from the company who arranged the party was going on to perform as one half of an acoustic duo called S&M. I couldn't stay for too long (I was shattered), however I am going make the effort to go back and see them again for the simple reason that these guys are bloody genius.

Check them out here: http://www.myspace.com/bitofsandm

They perform at O'Neill's every Sunday night, and if you want to see some really well know songs played acoustic styleeeee with humour, energy and their own slant - and if you want to be entertained - GO AND SEE THESE GUYS. S&M Rock!!!

The next morning Friday 3rd of June, (nice and early) I drove to London for the first of two gigs that day.

I drove to Dartmouth House which is the home of the English speaking union on Charles street in central London for a lunchtime performance for a 'sporting lunch'. 

Dartmouth House - Posh innit!

The people attending the lunch were part of a cricketing 'lunch club' and the day was hosted by an associate of mine called Roger Dakin - Roger is an after dinner speaker, MC, auctioneer and all round raconteur. The lunch was attended by Christopher Martin Jenkins who is a well known cricket commentator and head of the MCC. There were a few other sporting legends such as Peter Reed in attendance but my knowledge of sports people (and sport in general) will fit on the head of a pin so I haven't got a clue who they were. I hasten to add that they were all very nice people at the lunch and I was surprised at the reception I got after my performance.

I only had to sing six songs during the meal, but as gigs go I probably landed more future gigs than at any other time. By the end of the day I had been booked to perform at the 1971 Lions Reunion Dinner in London, Ian (Cricketer) Bell's testimonial dinner on board HMS Belfast, a private function in Chelmsford, a gig at the 'Long room' at Lords cricket ground, and a series of gigs lined up with Grange Hotels who are a seriously posh group of five and six star London hotels. Find out more about them here. 

As soon as the the lunch event was over I had to retrieve my car from the NCP car park. £30.00 for 5 hours - bargain!!! Fight with a traffic warden so I could load the car up. and then speed off into the Friday afternoon traffic to make my way to the next gig in.... Cardiff. The traffic however did not want to play and it was 8pm before I managed to get back to St David's hotel in Cardiff. I then had a mad rush to set up my gear and start singing. I started singing and Liam Neeson walked into the bar and a few minutes later Sam Worthington sauntered in. Worthington played the blue guy in Avatar - It struck me that blue people were popping up everywhere that week and I wouldn't have batted an eyelid if Papa Smurf had walked through the door with Dr. Manhattan in tow. 

The actors, minders and members of their crew were occupying a good proportion of the rooms at St David's whilst they were filming 'Clash of the Titans 2'. Wales seems to act as a magnet to the great and the good at the moment!

The following morning, 25th June 2011 I was up and out early to travel to a small village near Worcester for a wedding. I was singing in a marquee during the drinks reception and for the evening party. My prayers for sunshine were answered a little too well. I was asked to set up outside the marquee for the drinks reception and I thought I was going to melt in the heat. Note to self: Black suit and black hat + Sunshine don't mix. During the 'cooler' evening the wedding guests didn't want to seem to want to sit down, preferring to dance their little socks off - So I obliged by extending my performance. By the end of the day I had performed for 3 and a half hours and by the time I got back to Cardiff at 3am I really was ready for a lie in...

I had the following email the day after the wedding:

"Dear Aubrey

Well, what can I say.......   Thank you  Thank you Thank you!!!

You were absolutely amazing.   We and our guests were completely bowled over and captivated by your brilliant singing.  It was quite simply “The Very Best”. Each and every one of our guests cannot stop talking about your brilliant singing saying how  fantastic you are and what a truly perfect evening they had. 

As I said to you, we were very lucky and privileged to have you sing at our daughter’s wedding.  I just wish I had another 10 daughters so we could do it again and again.

Kindest Regards and Very best wishes

Jo"

Sunday 26th June 2011. I was hoping for lie-in but it was not to happen. I had to be at Cardiff castle by 8am to rig my gear for 'Polo in the Castle'. Boy it was warm. Even at 8am all the signs were there that it was going to be a scorcher of a day. I didn't start performing until 3pm, and by that time you could have cooked curry on my head. It was so hot that I took some of my own advice and ditched the black suit and black hat. I popped to M&S and purchased a cream Italian linen suit, boat shoes and a new Panama hat. Thank goodness I did, the heat peaked at around 31 degrees in the castle grounds and was more like 40 degrees in the marquees. Miss Wales popped up again - I think she's stalking me!

The started with sweaty horses and beautiful people and ended with beautiful horses and sweaty people, but my performance went down well with the pimms and shampoo drinkers. So much so that I didn't get out of the Castle grounds until gone 11pm. Now I was really ready for a day off...

Monday 27th June 2011. 

Day off my arse. 

After dragging myself out of bed I had to travel back up to the Celtic Manor for the 'Andy Gray & Gary McAlistair charity golf classic'. Gear had to be rigged by 5pm and they needed a PA system that would fill a third of  the Caernarfon suit at the manor. Not very big you might think. but take a look at the picture below of the whole room and then tell me that a third of 'bloody huge' isn't still massive!

The event was in aid of breast cancer and was supposedly attended by (and I quote): "A large number of our sporting and entertainment friends, including: Steven Gerrard, Michael Owen, Des Walker, Jamie Redknapp, Tony McCoy. Geoff Shreeves, Mick Fitzgerald, Paul Jewell, Matt Dawson, Gareth Edwards, Dave Jones, Matt Le Tissier, Russell Osman, Trevor Sinclair, Ben Shephard and Charlie Nicholas."

Were they all there I hear you ask. Not a clue is my reply.

My stalker Gareth Edwards was there. He turns up at so many of my gigs with his wife Maureen that I'm thinking of adopting them both. Gareth commented that we must be visiting the same tailor as he had a suit that was remarkably similar to my new Italian linen M&S number... Oh and I saw Ieuan Evans, but I only recognised him because our kids used to go to school together. 

After an auction that raised many thousands for the charity it was my turn to sing. It was quite hard work getting the crowd going. Most of them had been playing golf all day and were obviously de-hydrated because they seemed to be drinking excessive amounts of liquid....

Suddenly the stage was crashed by Andy Gray and we were singing 'Bat out of hell' together. I mean how did that happen. The evening then ended up with requests being shouted by the audience and various celebs clambering up on stage to sing with me. Who were they? I don't bloody know!

By the end of the night I'd had enough. I was on the verge of collapse. Luckily I'd managed to secure a room at the hotel so I was able to leave the gear and finally get a lie in. My head hit the pillow with thoughts of a nice breakfast and a swim in the morning...

Tuesday 28th June, 2011 8.00am

I'm dreaming of bells. The phone is ringing. And ringing, and ringing... I answer.

"Mr. Parsons, this is reception, the events team need you to move your equipment out of the Caernarfon suit because they are about to start rigging for any event this afternoon..."

Bugger.

By the time I had finished rigging and returned home it was mid afternoon. I had a pile of emails, accounting and missed messages to get through. This took until mid afternoon of Wednesday 29th of June 2011. By early Wednesday evening I had caught up with everything apart from this blog and I had just opened a bottle of wine to accompany the dinner my wife had just cooked. Peace and rest and an evening with my family at last.

The phone rang and voice said; "Hello Aubrey, this is Canada Lakes Lodge, we have 150 people here for dinner and they were expecting you to have set up for your gig this evening by now - where are you?"

"No, that event is tomorrow night." I replied whilst running into my office to get the contract.

"I have the contract here in front of me and it's dated tomorrrrr...... shit. I'll be there in 30 minutes."

I grabbed a shirt (My suits live in my van) and ran out of the house. My wife looked perplexed and I hit my hand with my head as I walked out of the door shouting "My flipping head's gone. Got the date wrong. I need a rest!" and off I went, to the next gig.

Cantoriaon Creigiau is a choir who were celebration their 40 year anniversary. 150 people turned to look at me as I squeezed my way into the venue which was packed to the rafters. I sheepishly set my gear up and explained to the event organizer that this was the first time in my life that I had got a date wrong for a gig. However I managed to rig the gear and get started on time.

At the end of the night, one of the guests came up and commented; "It's so nice to finally have an entertainer at one of these events who can actually sing. There are a few people here who like to think they can 'sing' but you really showed them how to do it!"

That comment made and still makes me chuckle and to be honest after the madness of the last month I need a good laugh.

So dear reader, I'd like to thank you for getting this far (unlike the other lightweights who couldn't be bothered to read all of this blog), I'd like to thank all the good and the great who keep booking me, and I'd like to thank my family  for putting up with a very tired and grumpy old man. If John Peel was still alive I'd like to think he'd be proud of me.

Until the next time...

Rock on.

  

From Take That to Ant & Dec

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Take That

20/06/2011
Phew what a week!
After a few frantic phone calls and emails earlier in the week, Aubrey was booked to perform at the 5 star St David's Hotel in Cardiff bay for a little known band called 'Take That' on Tuesday 14th June 2011. The band were staying at the hotel during the Cardiff leg of their sell out 'Progress' tour and it was decided that Aubrey would perform at both the pre-show and after show parties.

The party didn't finish until around 2am and just as Aubrey was leaving he was asked to return for another performance the following night! Security in and around the hotel was very tight although the hotel was fully booked with Take That fans who had the pleasure of seeing the band after their show in the bar. The following evening Aubrey didn't leave the bar until gone 3am - which was an early night compared to Jason Orange who didn't leave until 5.30am!

The band showed their appreciation by clapping wildly at the end of Aubrey's set - even after he'd slipped in a Take That song after their management team had asked him not to perform any songs by the band... naughty!




If that wasn't enough excitement on Friday 17th June at the same venue, Aubrey turned up for his regular Friday night performance to find that Simon Cowell's team were in residence filming his new TV show called 'Red or Black'. The team included well known presenters 'Ant & Dec'.

At the end of the evening, one half of the Geordie duo, Ant McPartlin came up to Aubrey and said; "Aubrey, Cheers Pal that was great entertainment!". We've always said that Aubrey's got talent...

Where can I get great Backing Tracks?

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Everything you need to know about backing tracks...

I first started out performing without a band (just as a duo) back in the mid 1980s. Back then all we had was a drum machine and a tape deck. Owing to the fact that the drum machine had very little memory, we would programme the drums for each song and record each song to tape. The quality was crap but it was all we had. Guitar and bass were played live over the top of the backing drums. 

In the early 1990's the development of midi and midi file players meant for the first time solo performers could have control of something approximating a full band. Midi files were stored on floppy disks and each song would have to be loaded before it would play. This caused a slight delay between songs but it was far easier than messing around with cassette tapes.

By the mid 90's DAT (Digital Audio Tape) appeared which gave superb sound reproduction - especially compared to the old hissy analogue cassette tapes. I found it easier to dump my midi backing tracks on to DAT - the only downside being that you had no control over the order of the set as tracks were recorded in a linear fashion. This might have seemed like taking a step back, but I wanted to have a show that moved quickly with no gaps between songs to keep the momentum of the audience going.

For a while I used CD's as a form of storing backing tracks. This was even easier again than using DAT tapes because access to tracks was instantaneous, however at that time tracks could not not named and you could only get around 10 tracks on a disk.

Then in the late 1990's Sony released the mini disk. This caused a revolution on the live music circuit. Suddenly we had a facility to play back high quality backing tracks in any order we chose. Each disk could hold about twenty songs and each song was named so you knew exactly what track you were picking. This was sheer luxury. However as my library of backing tracks increased I found it more and more difficult to use mini disks in a live situation. Having a set list is fine, but if you turn up to a gig and the majority of the audience are over fifty, they don't necessarily want to hear the latest chart hits. I needed to be more flexible so each show could evolve with its audience's tastes. A full dance floor rocking out to a Beatles classic could be emptied by the latest hit from Take That and I would cringe sometimes knowing that the next song was going to kill the show if I couldn't change it. Even worse was sifting through hundreds of disks to find the track I wanted. 

Many solo performers and duo's still use midi files and mini disks with some degree of success - but we are not talking about 'some degree of success' this blog is designed to make you the best at what you do, and as a performer, if you want the best work, you have to be able to perform almost anything at the drop of a hat.

The answer to my prayers came in the form of mp3 files. A compressed music format that when played through a P.A. sounded great with files small enough to fit hundreds on a CD or even thousands on a hard disk. Companies started developing dedicated stand alone mp3 players and I was lucky enough to get hold of one of the very first from a company called Creative. It had a tiny screen that displayed the track name and songs could be indexed by genre and name and it was possible to set up play lists. This first player looked like a portable CD Walk man but had a small hard disk inside so it was capable of storing a few hundred tracks. I built a number of play lists; Rocky, dancey, balladry, young, old etc. Searching for tracks was a bit fiddly, but it did the job for a few years. 

Over time I went from working in pubs and clubs to doing more wedding and corporate gigs and people were asking more and more for a disco or karaoke at the end of my live set. I was also becoming frustrated with the limitations of the old style mp3 players so in early 2000 I purchased my first windows based laptop and set it it up to play my backing tracks.

At that time there were very few software options for using mp3's in a live environment (now there are literally hundreds) so I decided to opt for some free software called Winamp. I discovered that Winamp had a plug-in that allowed you to play CD+G files - which are mp3 files with lyric files attached. CD+G is the format that most Karaoke discs use and it is possible with the right equipment to rip CD+G CD's onto a hard disc. I also started building my own MP3 backing tracks using some simple music production software called Cubase. However, these days there are so many companies producing MP3 Karaoke and backing tracks it is possible to pay to download the tracks to your computer with the minimum of fuss.

There will always be a debate about which is best for music, Apple or Windows. However, if you are just using a laptop to play back backing tracks, you don't need much processing power at all. I use a very basic notebook (ASUS) which has a 160gig drive running windows XP and Winamp and in all my years of using laptops I have never had one crash on me.

At the time of writing I have recently been experimenting using an Ipod Touch to play my backing tracks which does a great job. I'm also looking into the possibility of using an iPad which will allow me to display lyrics in a larger window than is possible on the iTouch. My point is that you don't need to go out and spend a fortune on equipment to play your backing tracks. You can get a netbook for around £250.00 that will do a great job. 

Getting the right backing tracks.

The backing tracks you use are just as important as your voice. If you had a really terrible voice no one would want to book you, and the same goes for crappy backing tracks. The advent of the internet means it is now easy to purchase and download individual very high quality backing tracks for a few pounds each.
I despair when I see artists performing with General Midi tracks that sound like they are being played on an old Bontempi organ. A guitar should sound like a guitar, not like something pretending to be a guitar! There is no excuse; and if you are one of the culprits, get with the real world and sort your backing tracks out now!

Fifteen years ago people would put up with the soulless sound of a General Midi sound card, but these days everyone expects perfection and you should give them nothing less. If you can't find backing tracks that are spot on - then don't bother using them. An entire set can be let down by slipping in a track that is out of kilter with the rest of your songs. Don't take the risk.

Backing tracks come in all manner of formats (CD, midi files etc.) but by far the quickest and simplest method is to download (legally of course) MP3s. A word of warning here. Don't go downloading from file sharing web sites - you are asking for trouble. Many tracks are corrupt, of low sound quality, contain viruses and most importantly - it's illegal. Thank you Mr. Lawyer - I've covered my arse.
There are a number of web-sites and companies that are worth visiting. If you don't have the internet, find someone that does and spend time finding the best tracks. I usually spend two or three hours a week looking for and checking out the latest tracks.

I've included the web addresses of some of preferred suppliers at end of this blog.

Once you have chosen your backing tracks you should spend time making sure that they are 'topped and tailed'. Some tracks - especially those designed for karaoke have a 10 second leader at the beginning of the track. This can be very annoying if you are performing and you have to wait for ten seconds before a songs starts. You will end up with a deathly silence and the natives will become restless!
The best way to do this is to import the files into  a basic music editor on a computer and chop of the silence at the start and end of the track. Some music production software is very expensive and contains a bunch of bells and whistles that you will never use, therefore a quick search on the internet will turn up open-source software such as Audacity (http://audacity.sourceforge.net/) which is free to use and dose the job easily.

A quick note here:
Please, for the sanity of me, your audience and yourself - DON'T USE BACKING TRACKS THAT FADE AT THE END. I know by using capital letters during that last sentence that I am shouting, but honestly it looks and sound really, really crap when you use tracks that fade. Have you ever seen a live act fade a song? Really? No you haven't have you! It's a sign of a lazy backing track producer if they let the songs fade at the end. The original record may have had a fade at the end but you can bet your bottom dollar that when the artist performs it live that they don't fade it - and neither should you.

Most backing tracks these days have been put together by production companies who specialise in the solo entertainer and karaoke market so the volume levels have been 'normalised' to make sure the volume is consistent throughout the track. However you may have some older tracks where the volume is too loud or too quite. Again use something like Audacity to adjust the track level to make it balanced and relative to your other backing tracks. You really don't want to be running back and forth to your mixer between songs because volume of your backing track is too loud or too quite!

In addition to allowing you to top and tail sound files, software like Audacity will also allow you to adjust the tempo and pitch of a track. This can be really handy if you have downloaded a track that is not necessarily within your vocal pitch. However, don't go overboard whilst using functions such as pitch and tempo adjustment otherwise the track may end up sounding a bit strange.

So let me re-iterate once again (I know you think I'm going on... but trust me), spend time getting the best backing tracks you can find. Get rid of all your old crappy ones and update them - it really will make all the difference to your show and people will be impressed. I am constantly getting people complimenting me on my tracks and asking me where I get them from - so now you know.

Backing tracks and Karaoke (MP3+G) tracks are available from the following web sites:

http://www.karaoke-version.co.uk
This is a fantastic resource for both karaoke tracks and backing tracks. You can listen to and download tracks. They also allow you to change the key before you download the track. Prices from £1.50

http://www.sunflykaraoke.com/
The big daddy of UK and Australian Karaoke. This company has been producing karaoke tracks since the dawn of karaoke. Their older tracks can be a bit ropey, but in the last few years almost all of their tracks are fantastic. Some of the older tracks also have a tendency to fade. Prices from £1.99

http://www.selectatrack.com/
This company has a huge collection of tracks available to download from many different producers. You can also get hard copies sent out if you don't want to download. Prices from £2.00

http://www.ameritz.co.uk
Another well established company with variable key downloads. Prices from £1.49

Feel free to comment and add any other suppliers that you would recommend.

Getting to know your live music gear

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Once you have chosen the tools of your trade you need to spend time getting familiar with it. I don't mean you should take it out to dinner and buy it a few drinks, however you do need to treat it all with respect - so no snogging on the first date. Seriously there is an analogy here. You wouldn't take a new partner out and expect to know everything about them and how they were going to behave, what they liked and didn't like and then take them to meet your parents after five minutes would you? The same goes for your stage set-up.

Whenever you start using new equipment you need to spend a good few hours getting used to it before you go out and gig it in front of an audience. Knowledge is power and lack of knowledge with sound and lighting equipment is no power - Literally. You could end up having no sound or a dark stage if you don't know what you're doing. Or even worse you might start a show with a great intro, brilliant lighting, then you open your mouth to sing and.... nothing.

In his second autobiography, 'Saturday night Peter' he tells a great story about a Meatloaf tribute act he once worked with who made three attempts to start a show. Lights, sound effects, smoke etc. The Meatloaf impersonator rode into the club on a big motorbike, jumped up on stage, grabbed the mic and... nothing. The mic hadn't been faded up on the mixer. This happened two more times before he started screaming at his poor assistant who was running his mixing desk and obviously didn't know what he or she was doing.

If you are just starting out or you have purchased a new P.A. or some posh lighting, it will pay big dividends to hire a hall or a function room for a few hours and use it as a dry run for rigging, testing and de-rigging your stage equipment. Put the whole lot together as if you were about to perform a gig. Work out roughly how much time you need to set up and break down. Set all your volume levels to an acceptable gigging level and make a note of the fader, tone control, and effects positions on the mixer. Perform with the system for a few hours to get a feel of the sound and it's capabilities. I may be teaching grandma to suck eggs here, but you will save yourself the trauma of arriving at a gig and having gear not do what you expect it to do!

I'm speaking from experience here. There is nothing worse than turning up for a gig, rigging everything and then starting to the show with volume levels that are all wrong, or lights that don't work or worst of all - howling feedback the minute you start singing. Punters really dislike 105 decibels of high pitch squealing blasting at them from a P.A. - and it upsets all the dogs for miles around. If you don't know your gear - it's going to be one more thing to worry about. You should walk out on that stage / corner of the pub / function room etc., confident that all you have to concentrate on is your performance; Not whether the sound system is going to start whistling Dixey as you run around panicking on a pitch-black stage! Finally if you are lucky enough to have someone who comes with you on gigs and you've asked them to take control of your mixing desk, make sure they have plenty of experience or they have at the very least been with you for a few dry runs first. Giving an inexperienced person control of a mixing desk would be like asking a monkey to drive a car - you wouldn't do it would you! Seriously though, you wouldn't...

I once saw a young singer performing at a charity function. I had been asked along to compère the evening and I was talking with the young lady's father who told me that she was just starting out and that he'd given her a new P.A. system for Christmas and this was her first outing with the new gear. He was obviously very proud of his daughter but the smell of disaster wafted from his lips. I hadn't arrived in time for the sound check, but I presumed that everything was sorted. The girl was the first act on and every other act that evening was to use her P.A. system. I walked on stage to introduce her to the audience. As I approached the microphone there was a massive amount of feedback from the P.A. I ran over to the mixing desk and managed to tame the noise, and introduced the girl. She walked out on stage to much applause - however this soon turned to stony silence as people covered their ears. She kicked off with ('Black Velvet' - not a good choice I fear for a first song!) and it exploded like a distorted fart from the P.A. Both the input levels to the mixer and output to the P.A. were way too high and the system was peaking all over the blimmin' shop. A look of sheer terror spread across her face and she rushed over to the mixer to fiddle with some faders. After a few seconds she managed to tame the backing track slightly. The song has quite a long intro so she stood looking unsettled on stage looked upon by an equally nervous audience. Her microphone had a mute button on it, and she un-muted it just as she was about to sing. There was a howl from the P.A. that nearly shattered every piece of glass in the building. At this point I rushed on stage and pulled all the faders down on the mixer. She stopped her performance and I spent a few minutes re-setting her rig. By now the audience had lost  patience and they were stood at the bar chatting amongst each other - Charity or no charity they were obviously un-impressed. When everything was sorted she re-started her show. The final nail in the coffin was the fact that the poor young lady had very strong lisp and the opening line of Black Velvet is: "Mississippi in the middle of a dry spell..."

One final point, whenever you set up a stage rig, make sure you take the dreaded 'Health and Safety' issue very seriously. Firstly you should make sure your public liability insurance is up to date and all gear is electronically P.A.T. tested. Secondly when erecting speaker and light stands always assume that some idiot could fall into them. Make sure your stands are sturdy and set up with plenty of spread on the legs to support whatever they are holding without being unbalanced.

You should make sure that all leads are taped down. That is what gaffer tape is for! Keep a few rolls handy. Even if your rig is up on a stage and out of the way of the general public, taping cables and leads down ensures that you don't trip and go flying off the stage and into the lap of the audience.

You should realise by now that knowing how your gear works and how to set it up is just as important as knowing your material and looking after your voice. You have been warned!

Getting to gigs or the road to nowhere...

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Transport - Without it you're on the road to nowhere.

A reliable means of getting yourself and your equipment to and from gigs is just as essential as looking after your voice and making sure you've got a decent sound system. If you break down on the way to perform at someone’s wedding you will quite frankly ruin the biggest day of their lives and will be bad mouthed by the bride, groom and all their guests to anyone who will listen - and quite rightly so.

Therefore make sure you some have decent transport or at the absolute minimum a decent road-side recovery contract with the AA or RAC that will get you to the venue if you do break down. (Worry about getting home later!!).

P.A. and lighting equipment has physically reduced in size and weight but has increased in performance over the past ten years and it's now possible to get a full stage rig in the back of most medium sized cars. However if you intend to be gigging more than two nights a week you are better off having a van. A van rigged with the best security you can afford is invaluable because it means if you have to you can leave equipment in it overnight. Obviously all equipment should be separately insured but we'll come to that in another blog later.

If you are in a band, why not club together or forgo the money for a few gigs to get a van? For a band van you will need something like a 'spitter van' which has seating for all the band and a separate compartment at the rear of the van for gear. These can also be hired from companies like: www.tigertours.co.uk

Splitter bus hire or tour bus hire.
In the past my band has even hired a full blown tour bus (a converted coach with beds, living rooms, toilet, galley storage area for gear. These are great if you have a really long way to get to the gig and you want to get back over night. For example, we did a gig in Loch Rannoch in Scotland. The bus picked us up from our base near Cardiff in the morning. We arrived at around 6PM in Scotland - did the gig and got back on the bus and we were home by 8am the next morning - nice and refreshed and ready for the next gig.

Owing to the nature and location of many venues you will often find yourself pulling up outside a venue that has either no off street parking or no easy access. This can be a pain in the arse, but something you should be prepared for. I had a yellow flashing light fitted to the top of my van and many of my friends ridiculed me saying it made it look like a motorway maintenance van. But believe me it was well worth the money as it allows me pull up almost anywhere and unload equipment without hassle from the police or traffic wardens who can immediately see that you are loading / unloading. In addition I often find that I have to reverse out of side streets onto main thoroughfares, and switching the light on makes most other drivers aware that you are reversing blind. Oh and I almost forgot, switching the light on when you are on double yellow lines makes the van invisible...

Seriously, the investment in decent transport is as important as a decent P.A. system and should not be overlooked.

One final point, whatever you use to get yourself around, don't plaster your name all over the vehicle! It's a great ego boost to see your name on the side of a van but you might as well put a sign on it saying 'Steal me! - expensive gear inside.'